WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO . . .

                                     ZANG TUUM TUMB
                                     --------------

         A Timetable
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         A picture book without the pictures for all the friends and enemies
         of ZTT Records.

         ACTION      Yes, thankyou.
         ------

         INCIDENT    From Art of Noise to a walking stick.
         --------

         CERTAINTY   At all time.
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         - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


         The questions that are often asked ZTT by correspondents concern the
         number of records released by the label.  Officially, or at least
         apparently, ZTT have released just five records in the UK - three
         on it's original Action Series and two on it's Derivative Incidental
         Series.

         The famous 'Relax' was Action Series Number One, and still is.  The
         definitive record here is the 7" single.  Other product to do with the
         famous 'Relax', apart from duff T-shirts and duffer DJ's, has emerged:
         a boring 7" picture disc is collectable, as well as a sperm soaked
         and more entertaining 12" picture disc.  The 12", which at all times
         has featured Gerry Marsden's 'Ferry Across the Mersey' as the first
         track on side two, originally featured an experimental 'Sexmix', which
         was replaced by a compelling some could say compact 'US Mix' on later
         pressings.  (It was at this stage that it was decided that no more
         12" records on ZTT would be called a "mix" of any sort whatsoever.)
         A white label 7", originally and erroreously entitled 'The Warp Mix'
         and then more correctly 'The Last 7"' also appeared.  Finally, (up
         until this day) - oh! what a bloody circus - there is a cassette
         celebration that is completely believable if slightly irrelevant,
         containing twenty one minutes of the usual drama and dialogue - including
         extra words from the 'One September Monday' interview that featured
         on the B-side of all 7" releases.

         It must be stressed that under no circumstances, including being  bored
         to death by persistent requests, can Zang Tuum Tumb comment on the
         availability of any of the product, nor confirm or pretend to know in
         which sleeves the records appear, nor advise on how to distinguish
         between different mixes which seem to have the same catalogue number,
         nor explain what prefix numbers are scratched into the run off grove
         that may or may not help the collector.

      

         ZTT's business is The Puzzle, not the explanation.  This may be more
         to do with laziness than obstinacy: who knows?

         It must also be stressed that ZTT themselves do not own a complete set
         of The Famous 'Relax' records.


         The magnificent 'Dr Mabuse' was Action Series Number Two, and will
         always be so.  The definitive record here is the first 12" featuring
         the Anton Corbijn painting as it's cover.  We make no apologies for
         ZTAS2 failing to reach the Top Ten, we merely say - with all horror -
         Gary Glitter at number 48! and leave the rest to your imagination and
         indignation,  although a further clue lies on a Thursday between seven
         and eight.  'Dr Mabuse', though, will refuse to rest - there is a
         '13th Life' 12" to believe in, a very peculiar instrumental 7" that
         none of us can quite believe in, and a crooked cassette that doesn't
         contain what it should do.  By the time 'Dr Mabuse' takes his place
         on the LP 'The Devils Advocate' his staggering spirit should be a
         little  more under control.


         Action Series Number Three makes to keep the peace.  'Two Tribes'
         spent longer at number one than 'Relax', and during this time the
         group went to the Top of the Pops studios' four times to perform it.
         Apart from the maddening T-shirts and other inevitabilities, 'Two
         Tribes' is believable in a number of ways.  The definitive record here
         is the Carnage 12".  'Annihilation' and 'War Hidden' - the latter
         collectable as a not too terrible picture disc - are 12" revisions
         not too easily ignored.  The 7", black or picture, never quite
         worked, although the different version available on the 'New Volume 3'
         compilation is successful.  The cassette celebration of 'Two Tribes'
         includes extra dialogue from the 'One February Friday' interview.

         All of the Action Series has made it onto Virgin/EMI's 'Now!' series,
         which is one kind of achievement.  Frankie Goes To Hollywood and
         Propaganda are spending the latter part of the summer recording their
         LP's  'Welcome to the Pleasure Dome' and 'The Devils Advocate'.  In
         the true spirit of the Action Series, both are discovering unknown
         worlds, and putting nothing off.  No live shows, though, you know.  By
         the end of ZTT Part Three, 31 December 1984, there will be three more
         signings to the Action Series, and also the introduction of a third
         series, The Certain Series.

                              Do you believe any of this?

         The Incidental Series is something like a law unto itself.  Records
         released here are more than noble - 'Into Battle' and 'Diversions
         One and Two' in the UK and 'Who's Afraid of the Art of Noise' in
         America soon to be released here along with the American single

      

         'Close (To the Edit)' - but as some of you may have guessed records
         alone don't make up the Incidental Series.  All cassettes are part of
         the Incidental Series.  The videos directed by Anton Corbijn, Bernard
         Rose and Godley and Creme are on the Incidental Series.  The best ZTT
         T-shirts are all under one number on the Series.  The day that 'Relax'
         was banned has a catalogue number.  Holly Johnson's walking stick has
         a catalogue number.  The Series, as well as releasing some of the most
         advanced danced or experimented music of the next day also intends to
         communicate some of the accident, adventure and atmosphere that makes
         up the known parts of Zang Tuumb Tuuuuummm, so that those who are
         interested can sort of work out what has happened to the label and
         those who don't give a crying damn will have plenty to moan about.

         An Incidental Catalogue will be believable on November 5th.

                    "To try to belong to one's own time is already
                     to be out of date."

                     Until the next time . . .